Grab Those Little Guys Often...and Tell Them They Are Loved.

It was always a given that I would get married and have a family. I knew that from my earliest days.

More interesting to me was the important tasks I needed to bring to the job of father. What would I take from my own parent’s performance? What would I discard?

While my mother was very demonstrative and often hugged me and told me of her love for me, that was not in the DNA of my father’s generation. It was unmanly to show emotion. I accepted that…but decided it would not be a part of my relationship with my three sons.

Each time I greet them, for over 30 years, I hug them and I often tell them that I love them. My dad has never been able to do those simple things. His inability to show love is something I accept. It just wasn’t something I wanted to pass along to the next generation.

As I look back there were several key moments in my history as a father. First, I wanted to communicate my love of sports. I dragged three little fellas to every Civic Memorial basketball game whether it was at home, or on the road. I made sure they had basketball camps during the summer and I created traveling teams for them to participate when the grade schools in Bethalto dropped athletics.

We talked CM and Kansas Jayhawk basketball…and Cardinal baseball. It created a language for us that we use even today. During the recent Jayhawk Elite Eight game, the four of us used text messaging to express our disgust for the outcome of the game.

I know there are some people who dismissed my parenting strategy as “growing jocks,” and not worthy of a person who possessed a career in education. But I think it created structure in the boys’ lives. And I am unapologetic.

They got in trouble….but nothing that was so terrible to mention here. Not a wallflower in the bunch. They were rambunctious and full of life. They knew the line….and they pushed it to the limit regularly.

My oldest, Andrew, honored me with his effort. He worked hard at football and had a great senior season. He was less talented in basketball, but started every game his senior year. Andy was a six-foot tall center which meant he got to guard the other team’s 6-5 center. He did so with grit and determination. He honored the family name with his performance. Later, after moving in with me in Fairfield, he and buddy Jason Woody coached an 8^th grade team (Jasper) to the state tournament. He is married to a wonderful woman and they have two little boys. Andy is a good father.

Douglas consciously made the decision to move to Fairfield right before his senior year. It didn’t seem fair. Bethalto had a loaded basketball team and he had grown up with the idea he would get to finish his athletic career with them. But, during some of my darkest days, he saved me. He became a Fairfield Mule and led the team in scoring and steals. His senior season is etched in my memory. I will always be indebted to him for providing a diversion from problems I was experiencing in my personal life.

Doug had his own struggles and a few years later made the decision to join the Air Force Reserve. That provided another moment. I went to Lackland AFB to claim him back after basic training. He was changed.

Doug also found a great lady and has a precious son whose eyes melt me.

My youngest, Alex, took another route. He dedicated himself to golf. He played all summer and became the Most Valuable Player on his senior golf team.

Alex is driven to succeed in his career….which might mean some of my DNA is active. He works hard and has not yet found someone to share his life. He is funny and caring and I love spending time with him.

All of my sons earned college degrees. I yanked and pulled them through. They knew I felt education was vitally important to their lives. I hope they pass that along to the next generation.

During my recent visit with the entire crew, we laughed and we were loud.

That is part of being Dreith.

I didn’t raise them alone. Their mother deserves credit.

And I so appreciate Carol, who knows exactly the role to be played by the “wife of your Dad” during the last eleven years.

I think my sons can improve on the job description of being a Dad. There are things I did that I’m sure they will never do with their kids.

But I hope they take one tool from my parenting kit.

Grab those little guys often…..and tell them they are loved.