I remember my time in journalism school well. There, I learned the importance of finding the most important aspect of a story and crystallizing it in the lead of the story. In other words, don’t “bury the lead.”
I anticipated the storyline for this past weekend….and even had most of the story written in my head.
The story was supposed to be about how I got to spend the weekend with my wife’s first husband. And that did happen….but it wasn’t the lead.
Carol’s first marriage created two children. Of course, I have three sons with my first wife. Carol and I met in our forties and had long decided our reproduction days were a historical matter. For the most part, only two of our kids have lived with us-----my youngest, Alex----and her oldest, Anthony Ryan Medder.
Ryan is a member of the Texas Army National Guard and has been called up to serve in Afghanistan. He packed up a small cargo plane of camouflaged clothing this weekend and headed out. That prompted the arrival of Carol’s daughter, Rachel, our only grandchild, Lexa, and Ryan’s father, Tony. They traveled from Illinois.
Tony seems to be a nice man. I’ve only been around him at Rachel’s wedding. This has nothing to do with him. I just fundamentally thought this was asking a helluva lot of me. I mean, my wife’s first husband was at our home….in my recliner. I’m sure he wasn’t too wild about the whole scene either.
I’m not a jealous type. Carol and I both brought baggage into our relationship.
Did I mention he was sitting in my chair?
My recliner. Archie Bunker wouldn't have tolerated this!
When she outlined the weekend, I threatened to pull Tony into the Mancave and do a live show. I told Carol we would open the phone lines and discuss things she does that is irritating to a spouse.
We could expand the show to two hours, if need be. Or longer……
She found no humor in it. I was scrambling to find humor in the situation because I didn’t want to deal with the real story.
Everyone was here for one reason-----Ryan was leaving. He was going to be gone for more than a year in a God-forsaken stinkhole of a country halfway across the planet where people shoot at you. I had to find humor because I couldn’t outwardly show the sadness in seeing him leave. I knew she was struggling with the whole departure and really needed for me to be emotionless.
I’m sure everyone including his father was fighting that fight.
It made the whole hangin’ with my wife’s first husband really rather inconsequential. That is not the lead of the story. The lead is simple. It will be a long year for the people that love him.
We will pray daily for his safe return.
Now…..that said….please excuse me.
Time to go and flop in my chair
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