My Disco Revival

“So you're a little bit older and a lot less bolder than you used to be…..So you used to shake 'em down but you stop and think about your dignity…..”

The words of Bob Seger….but certainly a theme that strikes close to home as I prepare for my public dance debut on the floor of the college’s Coliseum this Monday night.  It is all part of “Dance with the Faculty,” a promotion designed to match female college athletes with faculty and staff members in a sort of knock off of Dancing with the Stars.

Understand….I wanted no part of this. I avoided any participation until last Monday night when diminutive softball pitcher Danielle Danek approached me at halftime and posed the question….

“Dr. Dreith….would you please dance with me next Monday night?’ she asked with big droopy eyes.

I responded quickly…..”Dear, Dr. Dreith is no dancer. Dr. Dreith’s wife has to deal with a lifetime of crushed arches because Dr. Dreith can’t make the Texas two-step less than a two-and-a-half steps. Thanks…but no thanks.”

She appeared to leak a tear.

“Well….that’s OK….coach said if I didn’t get a partner……I’ll just have to run.”

Another fake tear appeared on her little cheek.

“RRRRR…..alright……I will do it,” I spit out. And the deed was done. I was going to risk plenty of dignity and encourage a crush of video equipment as I hoofed it on the college logo at mid-court.

She left it to me to figure out what the routine would entail. I guarantee you….it wasn’t going to be a Texas two-step or the Cotton Eyed Joe. The only era that I could honestly say I understood was the disco-era of the mid-1970s. Danielle’s parents weren’t even born then. When I explained the plan, she shrugged and told me she trusted me to figure it out.

When I was a man of nineteen, I used to frequent the cherished dance halls of southeastern Illinois. I did some strutting at the Music Room….The Grainery…and Tarro’s Coliseum up Benld way. I also used to force my college freshmen to watch Saturday Night Fever with John Travolta in my humanities class entitled “Media’s Affect on U.S. Culture.” I know the era. I lived the era.

On my checklist over the last week, I found a white three-piece suit….some fake coal black hair…..and plenty of Bee Gee’s music. I revisited the Hustle, the Bump, and other free forms of dance to complete my study of this assignment.

Danielle and I met tonight at the college for thirty minutes of practice.

We probably could have used more practice….but I believe I have thrown my hip out of alignment after a spirited lesson of “Bump 101.” She learned quickly….but I was toast after a half hour of rehearsal.

In order to maintain the illusion that I can truly dance…..I acquired a strobe light.

Now the audience will only see every-other-move because I will force the manager of the Coliseum to cut the lights and hit us with the strobe when we start the dance.

Through it all……I have asked myself…..why? Why would a college president who demands respect allow himself to be put in a situation which beckons front page coverage?

Because my life recently has not been much fun.

Budget cuts….lots of travel….the specter of more difficult decisions right around the corner.

Never take yourself too seriously.

Never lose the ability to have fun.

So I’m gonna shake ‘em down…and not worry about my dignity.

Thanks Mr. Seger.