Telephone...Telegraph....Tell-A-Dreith....The secret I couldn't utter about becoming a Grandpa

My oldest, Andy, got married last Labor Day.

About a month ago, he told me his wife, Alicia, believed she was pregnant. But he told me I couldn’t say anything until they actually went to the doctor a couple of times.

It is hard being muzzled.

Dreiths are not good at keeping secrets…..in fact…..there is an old saying about Dreiths and secrets…

Telephone….Telegraph…..Tell-A-Dreith….all ways to make sure everybody knows a well-guarded secret.

If a Dreith had been an American spy and captured in Nazi Germany during the waning days of World War II….we might all be eating kraut tonight for supper.

I successfully kept the matter secret on Facebook….but I have to admit I told my entire staff much earlier. I probably would have spilled it if I had known the moment the EPT turned blue.

Now that I have revealed that I have flunked the confidentiality test for pre-grandfathers, let me tell you my best thinking on the whole grandpa thing.

I’m cool with it.

Carol has been a grandma for two years and is probably relieved that I won’t be able to use the old line-----“I am not a grandpa, but I sleep with a grandma” line.

Actually, I do consider Carol’s grand-daughter to be “our grandchild.” But I loved the “sleeping with grandma” line…and I will miss it.

I don’t care if this is a grandson….or daughter. I have taken to saying silent prayers to the Almighty for one thing….and one thing only. That is for the health of this child.

And gender doesn’t matter……Girls can play basketball, too!

I remember being so pleased when Andy announced his impending nuptials to me. My beloved former basketball coach, Bob Kallal, used to always ask prospective basketball players in the grade school and junior high this question------“How tall is your mom?” He contended (whether it was based in scientific fact or not) that the height of the child is directly tied to the height of mom. Thus, he would tell if we were looking at a post player, a power forward….or just a guard. 

I believe we have a power forward in this child. Alicia comes from tall stock.

The only other major question that weighs on me at this moment is choosing the proper moniker for myself.  Carol chose “Gram-D” for herself when Lexa was born. She chose “Doc” for me. I was OK with it.

My dad has always been “Paw-Paw,” to my kids. And I suspect he will become the “Old Paw-Paw” and I will be elevated to the rank of just “Paw-Paw.” 

I don’t care….

Right now…..you can just call me------happy.

I remember once…about 20 years ago…..I was running laps around the track at Hauser Field in Bethalto with Andy trying to keep up. He was particularly irritating back then….

After about 800 meters, he asked me to stop.

“This is stupid….Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked as I panted and sweat on the tartan track.

I remembered my response today when he called to give me my release to announce the news.

“Because I want to be around someday when you have a kid,” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Once you become a parent----I suspect you’ll see me as a whole lot smarter.”