I Know How Popeye Died-----It Was The POTASSIUM.

As my wife Carol diligently worked to change my diet, I listened intently to her orders.

She rolled through the “do’s and don’ts.”

I heard one thing-------Fruits and vegetables are free. In other words, I could eat as much as I wanted as long as the chow could pass the fruit and vegetable smell test.

OK, I can do this, I thought.

So I loaded up on my favorites-----I got a bunch of spinach, strawberries, bananas and most of all-----I got some prunes. I love prunes. I like their taste…..and their magical affect on my large body.

So things are rolling along and I am dropping a few pounds when I schedule a minor surgical procedure to get a growth off one of my fingers.  Thought it was a quick---in the office job. But of course the hand doctor in Lubbock said the growth was a little too deep and would require a skin graft. So he ordered pre-surgery blood testing.  The test was sent to the surgeon and to my general practice doctor.

It only took a couple of hours before both doctors were on the phone calling me about the results.

Man, my blood was way too rich with potassium, both reported. More tests would be needed.

Potassium?  Ahhh, I thought…..too many bananas.

So I re-scheduled a new blood test, went home and made me a bowl of fresh spinach……and after a small entrée, I opened up a box of prunes.

About ten prunes into the box, I looked at the label and read:

“Just one ounce of Sunsweet Prunes delivers more potassium than one ounce of bananas. So move over fresh fruit-----It’s time the once humble prune takes its rightful place as nature’s ultimate convenient and nutrient paced snack!”

Yikes! Massive dosage of Potassium!

So I posted on Facebook my need to de-tox from my prune intake. And someone responded the only thing worse than prunes---when it came to potassium intake----was fresh spinach!

Now, I understand it when people are warned against excessive ding-dongs…..or Fritos…..or diet coke. But spinach, bananas and prunes? All bad for me? Popeye probably pooped out because of a potassium attack. Brutus didn’t get him…..all that spinach did!

The second test…..wasn’t any better.

Now I have to show up for surgery at six in the morning so they can do some more potassium testing before they take the little growth off my pinky.

This is just my luck. I commit to fruits and vegetables…..the the only fruits and vegetables I like….give me potassium poisoning.

In the meantime……heed my word…..

Fruits and vegetables ARE NOT FREE.