My Kitchen Floor

I remember the moment, about six years ago, on a Saturday night in my Fairfield, Illinois home.

My sons were out on the town. I was walking through my kitchen and pondering whether or not to strip the floor and put down a new coat of wax.

That’s when it struck me……Wow…..what an exciting guy! I was 47 and had been divorced for two years and I was not even considering having any fun. My staff at the college was pushing…..pushing to get me a girlfriend and I was resisting them every step of the way.

One of my deans was pushing a 60 year old woman…..because she had money. Another friend was pushing a grade school teacher because he wanted me to stay in Fairfield. And my Phi Theta Kappa advisor said I simply needed to meet a woman who was a student at my college. That didn’t sound good.

After the floor wax moment, I decided it was time to get back into the game.

It was only a few days after that decision that my assistant placed a sheet of paper on my desk entitled “Academic All-American nominees.”

“What’s this?” I asked. She responded: “The list compiled by the folks in student services. You are supposed to pick two of them.”

I noticed, at the top of the list, the student who was being pushed as a candidate for my re-entry into the world of dating was listed.

Carol Anderson.

I asked my assistant---How do I normally pick the All-Americans? She said for the four previous years, I had picked the top two candidates because they were ranked by the staff.

“Not this year,” I said. “This year I am interviewing the top two. Call this Anderson woman and tell her I will pick her up for lunch and an interview.”

Alright….I want to admit here and now. It was not my most shining ethical moment. I wanted to look her over and ask her questions under the guise of an interview. Only then would I decide if I wanted to take her out for a date.

I picked her up at her job, Airtex Inc., an auto parts manufacturer, and took her to a downtown eatery.

Hmmmm….I thought….attractive……and as the “interview” proceeded…..it was obvious that she was also very smart. Almost dangerously smart.

Guilt started to overtake me by the end of the “interview” and I laid my cards on the table.

“Look Ms. Anderson,” I said. “You are going to be my choice for academic All-American. You were before I ever picked you up. I know this is highly unprofessional….but would you consider seeing me socially?”

Stunned by my admission of slimedom…..she said….”Well….sure….but I have to tell you…..I have some baggage.”

Ha, I thought…..she obviously hadn’t been reading the newspapers about my first marriage.

“Dear,” I said boldly. “Your baggage….no matter what it is……is probably just carry-on. They have to load my baggage into the hold of the airplane.”

With that, we agreed to see each other. The sophisticated man that I was…..I held out for the fourth date before I told her I loved her. It was about six months later when she announced she was going to move to Evansville to enter Occupational Therapy grad school that I begged her to marry me.

This weekend will mark our five year anniversary. We don’t argue. We support each other and she has become my closest friend and confidant.

And she’s still hot.

I take care of the dishes and mowing.

She takes care of me……

And the kitchen floor?

She keeps it pretty clean.