Real Men Do Cry

The only time I ever saw my father cry was when his mother died.
I, on the other hand, must be emotionally flawed.

There are a number of movies that simply render me an embarrassment to manhood including the recently released “Saving Mr. Banks.”  Yes, I permitted a tear to fall from my eye….but I did not sob….I did not weep….I merely allowed my overactive tear gland to secrete.

It wasn’t the first time my emotions have gotten the best of me. Let me list the movies that have left me “verklempt.”

Here are my top five movies that have solicited a moist face on this manly man….

1.       My earliest remembrance of tears came as a four-year-old watching “Lady and The Tramp” with my mother at the venerable old Star Light Drive-In, in Alton. I was fine until The Tramp was run over with a wagon. Even though he survived the collision, the movie was effectively over for me. Time to put the speaker back on the post. Because of this meltdown, my parents never let me see Old Yeller. Probably a good idea.

2.       Moving to adolescence, I became very emotional the first time (and let me be truthful….I probably still would be emotional) when watching The Glenn Miller Story. Miller was played by Jimmy Stewart, one of my favorite actors, and I guess it still bothers me that his band played “Little Brown Jug” at the concert he couldn’t make because he was somewhere at the bottom of the English Channel. That was his personal song with his wife, tearfully played by June Allison. When Little Brown Jug plays….and she starts crying…..well….you try to stay stoic. I can’t.

3.       We fast forward to the late 1971….war, protests, flower children……and Brian’s Song, the Brian Piccolo Story.  I was playing football at the time, at Wilbur Trimpe Junior High, and when Piccolo died in the made-for-TV film, I did not make excuses for a first-class emotional outburst. I dare you to get through it without balling.

4.       I remember a faint breakdown while watching Kramer vs. Kramer after first getting married. I think it was because I knew what was eventually coming down the line for me. I still cry when I think about the attorneys….and their billable hours.

5.       And then there was the ball catching scene in Field of Dreams. My father had polio and couldn’t play catch with me……so……enough said…..you see why I couldn’t hold it together on this one.

I never watched Love Story because I knew what would happen. Didn’t have to tempt fate. Knew someone was gonna die…..knew I would have to carefully wipe tears from my masculine cheeks, no go for Mike.

And then there was the most recent tender moment….while watching the story about how they made the movie Mary Poppins.  I can’t explain it. I do recall watching the movie as a sprout with my mother and being upset when Poppins left the family by flying away holding an umbrella. But I guess I was too blown away about how cool it would be to have such an umbrella. Didn’t cry back in the day. But something about the author, P. L. Travers, and the back story to how she created Mary Poppins out of the unfortunate circumstances of her own father’s death…that pulled the trigger this weekend.

What can we deduce from this stunning admission by the Dreith boy?

Well, clearly he likes sports….and if you kill off an athlete….you probably will get him to cry.

It also is possible if you reach for his wallet…..or kill off a musical icon. Although, I did not cry when Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Richie Valens died in The Buddy Holly Story….my best guess is because Gary Busey has always struck me as a goof…..so no tears for him.

My father likes to tell the story of a young Mike Dreith, on his first hunting trip, shooting a .410 shotgun into a tree, killing a squirrel, and then sobbing at the death. I don’t remember that episode…but he loves to tell everyone he meets about his emotionally compromised son.

My only admission is-----I am really good at suspending disbelief. When I take in a movie experience….I suspend the notion that Hollywood is at work. I allow myself to become emotionally compromised because of the suspension of dis-belief.

And for the record….I think there was one more movie where I cried.

It was Gigli.

I cried when I realized I paid $16 to see it.