I have never
tee-peed a house. But I have been tee-peed.
I grew up in
a town where the kids soaped and egged and forked their neighbors. But here,
it’s all about the toilet paper. But let’s step back for a moment and analyze
this. Youth buy dozens of rolls of toilet paper at local stores…..drive around
in the dark….determine a victim….quietly get out of their vehicles and throw
the Charmin repeatedly in the trees, bushes and lawn…
I understand
tee-peeing sometimes is seen as a form of endearment. You tee-pee a teacher you
like….or maybe it is the other way around…..You tee-pee a teacher you don’t
like.
In either
case, the person who receives the gift of a snow white yard has the choice of
either investing labor...or just ride out the storm. If you clean it, they
could come again tomorrow night. Just wait for the tee-pee season to pass.
I have to
reveal the worst piece of advice I ever got after being tee-peed. A friend said
the easiest way to clean up was by taking a lighter and igniting the end of the
toilet paper …letting it burn up into the tree. Stupidly, I took the advice.
Toilet paper is highly flammable. The tree ignited----the flames licking the
side of my house as I scrambled to hook up my yard hose. I fortunately put out
the fire and stayed off the front page of the newspaper.
Seriously
now for a moment. Call me a curmudgeon. Tee-peeing, in my view, could be
dangerous given the spate of reported break-ins and vandalism in our region.
People are on high alert about their property.
If you are
intent on continuing this tradition, be forewarned. And take my advice.
Don’t
ignite an oak tree.
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