Happy Thanksgiving

Ahh, Thanksgiving 2018. Time for turkey, pumpkin pie, football and flexible waistline pants. It’s also a time for a little humor….thankfully.

It was the great Johnny Carson who once said: “Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year---and then discover once a year is way too often.”

Phyllis Diller once discussed how she prepared her turkey. She said: “It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”

One staple of the traditional holiday meal is gravy. It goes on the turkey…on stuffing…on mashed potatoes….heck it goes well on everything with the notable exception of desert. Erma Bombeck said gravy was very important…. Bombeck said, “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

It was Bombeck who also said: Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They take 12 minutes to consume. Football halftimes take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.”

Of course the main course is always the gobbler. Mitch Hedberg provided his opinion about Tom Turkey when he said---“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami…Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, be yourself.” Rita Rudner also had something to say about the main course—“Most turkeys taste better the day after---my mother’s tasted better the day before.”

Then there’s desert. Jim Davis has a thought----“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.”

Here’s what I have to say. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving from all of us here at WFIW-WOKZ.