The eulogy of Bob Kallal, January 18, 2022
Our Lady Queen of Peace
It is my extreme honor to talk about the life of one
of the most influential men in my life, Mr. Bob Kallal.
Notice I
said Mister Kallal.
Generations
knew him that way.
I never
called him Bob to his face. It was always Mister Kallal. That’s because he
engendered respect. Whether it be as an
athlete, a teacher, a coach, a businessman or just the guy who sat courtside
for hundreds, if not thousands of Bethalto basketball games.
….I’m told Mr.
Kallal requested I deliver this eulogy….That makes this one of the greatest
honor of my life.
Bob Kallal was
a gentleman. A man with morals, principles….a sense of honesty that made him
stand apart.
He learned
the value of hard work on the farm in Medora. When he wasn’t forced to farm, he
was shooting a basketball at a rim hung on the barn. He studied the right way
to shoot by checking out books and then replicating the shot, over and over. One
rule prevailed----never watch the ball in flight. Watch the rim. It was
almost as if it became a metaphor for his life.
Don’t watch
the trajectory of your life….be focused on the goal. As all of us know, he suffered
some really bad times….the loss of a wife…a son….the dishonesty of a business partner….but
he never let that consume him.
He kept his
eye on the goal. Today he realizes that goal-----eternity with Jeff and his
Lord Jesus Christ.
Bob was a
student of athletics. He used the same formula of study and practice to become
an accomplished bowler and golfer. He understood the finer points of each sport
and never stopped learning. He practiced relentlessly. His passions led him to
ultimately become a great teacher and coach.
His senior
year, the last year Medora High existed, Bob scored 27-points-per-game. That
made him a prize recruit for Shurtleff College in Alton. Bob was pretty good at
closing down schools. After his freshman year, Shurtleff also shuttered its
doors.
But while at
Shurtleff, Bob met an upper classman by the name of Jim Carey. That would be a
faithful meeting.
After he
graduated he started his teaching career, first in Alton….then St. Louis and
then as the head basketball coach of the Worden Trojans. He was contacted by Carey, who had just been
named the head coach in Bethalto. Carey needed a freshman coach. He asked Bob
and the rest is history. Bob Kallal-coached basketball teams won 178 times and
only lost 42 from the mid-1960s to the mid 1970s.
A sidenote,
I am personally responsible for 14 of those losses….nearly one-fourth of the
total. He never held that against me.
I first encountered
him shortly after starting in junior high.
Coaching
consumed him. He had the best team in the history of the school…it went
undefeated and had, several great basketball players (some of whom are here
today). The best basketball player in the school’s history, Dave Taynor was on
that team. Bob never stopped Taynor from watching the ball when he shot.
Only Taynor could watch the ball after he shot it and get away with it.
I was in 7th
grade and I idolized the members of that team----the class of ’70----
I found
myself working for the assistant principal one summer at the junior high,
hauling textbooks and cleaning out lockers.
About a week
before school started, I was walking along the hallway when I heard a man’s
voice, warbling in one of the classrooms.
He was singing
a popular Dionne Warwick song…..written by Burt Bacharach.
“What
do you get when you fall in love?
You
only get a life of pain and sorrow
So for
at least until tomorrow
I'll
never fall in love again. No, I’ll never fall in love again.
It was Mr.
K. and he wasn’t known for his singing ability…
“Dont'
tell me what's it all about
'Cause
I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of
those chains, those chains that bind you
That
is why I'm here to remind you…
What
do you get when you kiss a gal?
You
get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After
you do, she’ll never phone ya
I'll
never fall in love again..
Don’t
you know….I’ll never fall in love again.
That song
would become prothetic. I’ll explain in a moment.
Bob had a
tacit interest in my basketball abilities in my seventh and eighth grade years,
but I truly didn’t know him. He asked how tall my mom was…..he told me to stop
watching the ball when I shot it.
I wanted to
be a good basketball player. I certainly practiced a lot. I idolized Taynor, a
disciple of Kallal….and so….time came for me to play for Mr. K. I remember the
day I showed up for the first practice.
I had my Chuck
Taylor high top tennis shoes and I was wearing my Dave Taynor signature knee
pads purchased at Black’s Sporting Goods in Alton.
Bob spotted
me walking into practice and called me over.
“I see you
are wearing knee pads,” he said. “Why?’
I said
because Taynor wore knee pads.
Apparently
that was the wrong answer…..
Bob looked
me up and down and I’ll never forget what he said….
“Lose the
knee pads. You’re no Taynor.”
I’ve always
believed that is why we lost so many games. I clearly needed those knee pads.
But an
interesting thing was occurring at our home basketball games. Just like the
year before---when we played for Willard Wallace-----there was a mysterious
blonde at the games…in the crowd. It was
a small town. We knew everybody who came to the gym and their connections.
In 8th
grade, the mystery blonde ultimately became Mrs. Wallace.
The same
thing was happening in 9th grade. Doneeta became that year’s mystery
blonde. Allegedly from Alton. Much younger than Bob.
He was
clearly dating her-----and in fact I remember him talking to my father---Bob saying
he thought “she might be too young for him.”
“Age is just
a number,” my dad told Bob. You would have to know my dad to understand that
later in his life, he lived out that philosophy….
So
thereafter it happened. Bob proposed. Doneeta accepted.
Bob often
lamented their age difference would make it impossible for them to some day
celebrate a golden wedding anniversary.
Six months
ago. I was incredibly honored to perform the ceremony where Bob and Doneeta
renewed their vows after 50 years of matrimony.
Of course
the marriage produced another child, Joanna. She has always been his devoted
daughter. His love for her was total and obvious.
For a
moment….Bob had a number of quirks which ended up greatly affecting my life.
For instance…
His research
indicated that a child’s growth, their height, was largely dictated by the genetics
of the mother. He spent his lifetime asking young basketball players this
question:
“How tall
is your mother?” Also…
“Do you
have any tall aunts or grandparents?”
The whole
practice became a problem for me because I wanted basketball players in my
house too. (You can ask my son Andy). When he brought home a young woman, I
would do my best Kallal.
I didn’t ask
about her education or her background……I would look her over for potential
breeding stock and ask her: “How tall is your mother?”
Before long,
the boys stopped bringing girls around.
Now…
I need to
talk about a key moment in my life and its meaning. This point is hard for me
so bear with me.
Shortly
before Jeff’s death, I lost touch with my own dad. We just stopped talking.
I was in
need of a father figure. That’s when Bob lost Jeff. He apparently needed a son
to father. We bonded. I owe him so much for his time and love.
Today is so
hard for many of us because he was so much a part of our lives. He was so
influential.
I took a few
moments to scan the things said on social media when news started to spread
about his death.
Here’s just
a couple of comments…
“He
taught me so much about the game of basketball plus his morals and ethics made
him a person I always looked up to. God bless Coach Kallal and his great family.”---Jeff Stephens.
Mike Rethorn
said: “A treasure to all of us who received great coaching and mentorship
from him.”
Steve Porter,
the former Alton Telegraph sports editor told me: “Bob loved basketball as
much as anyone I’ve ever known.”
Dave Taynor
told me: “Mr. Kallal was the best coach and teacher I ever had.”
And finally
this from Scott Schroeder…
“He was an
angel on earth and now we have an angel in heaven to look over us….
…and whisper
to us to stop looking at the ball when we shoot.”
St. Peter is
going to learn….only Taynor can do that.
God Bless
Robert Kallal.
Coach
Kallal.
Mr. Kallal.
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