When Chickens Go Rogue

I couldn’t help but notice the story filed by our Edwards County Correspondent Mark Curtis this week concerning the band of rogue chickens who apparently have become a nuisance in the Albion community.

I think it must be a legitimate problem, and it appears the city council is meeting it head on. They have all my confidence.

Now, given our current strange cultural trends, I have to wonder what happens next if this becomes a national story.

Will PETA intercede? 

I looked at their Facebook page only to find out that the animal rights group was threatening President Trump with the statement that he did not have a pet and that the last president to not have a pet was impeached.

Someone needs to proof read their copy. Bill Clinton was the last president to be impeached and I remember his chocolate lab named Buddy. Andrew Johnson had white mice. Both were impeached but were not convicted by the Senate.

PETA will have real problems with chicken families being split up and cooped by four in Albion. We don’t know…. many of these chickens could have been here before us. As native chickens, PETA might believe they should be allowed to roam unfettered. Free range, so to speak.

Now, there’s the whole discrimination of crowing rosters issue. The proposed ordinance muzzles rosters, which I think would be of interest to the ACLU---I believe that’s the American Chicken Liberties Union. If you are a rooster, you crow. It’s your right.

And what about the hens----cooped by fours----no roosters in town---no suitors courting them…this is un-egg-ceptable. They might want to reach out to NOW.

Then there’s the tax, $25 dollars a year if you want to own chickens.

That’s taxation without chicken representation.

This just won’t fly.