Dad, Grandpa and The Duke

It is a popular topic to talk about the changing image of the American male. It was so simple, in my youth. I had a father and a grandfather who had been taught their roles and executed them. They were sort of like John Wayne, The Duke, on the big screen. 

A man was supposed to be tough, work hard, and show very little emotion. I had a good childhood and I took many of those traits and used them in my own version of parenting----Fatherhood 2.0, I like to call it.

I only made one very deliberate change when it came to the emotional side of fatherhood. My father and grandfather never told me they loved me. They couldn’t bring themselves to ever hug me. Now, I have to tell you. I know they did love me. But their programming made that simple admission impossible. I never could understand that. I thought it was a flaw and set out to prove I was right.

So, I made it a point to be very demonstrative with my love towards my three sons. We embrace. I tell them I love them. I do. 

Other than that….there isn’t much difference between me, my ancestors and the Duke. Being a man had defined roles….and those roles were demonstrated in the American media.

For a moment----who is that screen role model these days? Iron man? Kevin Spacey? The correct answer is----none of the above.

Maybe that’s why we are seeing an attack on masculinity. It’s not cool to say John Wayne was a good American role model. But then, I’m not worried about being uncool.

 I liked John Wayne and what he represented. Kinda liked Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood too, for that matter…