The Health Nazi

I made a rather bold decision with my life a few weeks back. I looked at my 218 pound frame, my advancing age and decided I really needed to do something about it. My recent attempts to lose weight were utter failures. There was the Nutrasystem debacle where I spent a few hundred dollars to lose about ten pounds...only to later gain fifteen. Then there was the Weightwatchers membership where I lost ten pounds only to gain back fifteen.

You get the picture.

A few months ago a new chiropractor came to town and joined my Rotary Club. I didn't like him. He did fingertip push-ups and used some rather salty language in his presentation. It sort of reminded me of a few former coaches of my youth. I dismissed him and continued my evening walks...and the systematic disposal of my wardrobe because I was growing out of them.

Then it struck me. Maybe this guy really knew what he was talking about. He seemed fit. I've always wanted to do a fingertip push-up. I talked to him and he encouraged me to read a couple of books. They had the same theme----reduced fat in the diet and a resistance weight-lifting program that included plenty of core work.

So I joined his fat-burning class. Showed up in some gym shorts and tennies and found I was one of only two men in the course. I was welcomed....and then assaulted. There were crunches and weights and squatting and rolling and at the end of one hour I was a pathetic piece of linguine. Almost couldn't muster the agility to drive home. When I got there, I laid on the bed for an hour.

Now I am a two workout veteran...and I ache from every pore.

He tested my body and told me that my fat was 30-percent of my body...and that 60 of my 218 pounds were fat.

His whole philosophy is that muscle burns fat....so he works us like dogs for about an hour and sends us home to eat turkey or fish.

I'm in. He is my leader until Christmas. If the Health Nazi (because he reminds me of the Soup Nazi of Sienfeld fame) is successful in rebuilding my body....I will gladly keep up some sort of regular weightlifting program and try not to do what I've done in the past....

Namely gain back 15 pounds.

So here's to the Health Nazi. "No fat for you....Next"