The Rules of Demolition

In an attempt to make my life more meaningful, I decided yesterday to read and understand the rules for next Friday night’s Demolition Derby at the New Wayne County Agricultural Fair.

I thought you got a junker, preferably owned by you, and got it to the fairgrounds. Then, you rammed it repeatedly into opposing cars until they don’t run. That’s my very simplistic definition of how to win a demolition derby.

Nope. It’s a heck of a lot more complicated. There are 91 rules for cars…and at least that many for mini-vans, mini-trucks and mini-SUVs. Some of them have to do with how the vehicle is outfitted….others deal with driver behavior. No booze allowed. No harassing of the judges. No love for your fellow man…or woman.

As in life, there’s no “sandbagging” in demolition derby. I think that means you can’t contact. In other words, the fans want bent steel. In fact, one rule is that you have to make an aggressive hit every 60 seconds, or risk disqualification. Kinda reminds me of I-270 in St. Louis at around 4:45 on a weekday afternoon. That’s part of the reason I’m here.

I’ve been to several Wayne County Fair Demolition Derbies because I like the atmosphere. You never know who you are “going to run into.”

One year, one of the drivers climbed onto the hood of his car, got on one knee and proposed marriage to his girlfriend. What could she say? Had to accept fast before he got rammed by Ford Fiesta. That was country.

91 rules. Grab a New Wayne County Fair book and study them before next Friday night like I did.

It was sorta of a……crash course.